Big Dreams and my B.H.A.G.

So I'll just come out and say it...this is a scary post to write. Even now as I'm typing this out, I keep having to tell myself this isn't as silly as it sounds and to keep writing. I've never been the type to really dream big. Like big hairy audacious goal (B.H.A.G.), big. Sure I've had hopes and dreams but I'm always careful to make sure their attainable or my favorite word, safe. But when I really check myself, the real issue is that I'm afraid to fail and for other people to see me fail...which prevents me from trying or even think about trying. For the past few weeks I've honestly for the first time considered making a dream happen. It's been in the back of my mind for about a year and I've only really talked to Ryan about it.

A few weeks ago I was sitting with one of my sweet friends, Alex, while our husbands were out at a bachelor party. We talked about life, where we see ourselves in the next two to three years and our aspirations. And that's where she told me her big dream (which I won't spoil!) and I casually, quickly mentioned mine. We talked about how crazy they sounded, we made excuses and then called them out on each other, and then we started believing that we could make them happen. We were two self-doubters who finally believed that we could do it...we just needed someone to tell us we weren't crazy! I'm so thankful for that time and for that motivation.

I was inspired by brave women who wrote some of their goals out and blogged them. My wedding photog and sweet friend Katelyn did just that and then another blog that I follow (another KJ bride), Molly wrote out her dreams as well. One of my high school friends, Kat even started her new event planning business a few short weeks ago and wrote about those same fears of failure. There is so much truth in the fact that verbalizing things makes you feel vulnerable. These women helped me see through their bravery to just put it all out there.

So the truth is, I do have a big dream, a big hairy audacious goal.

I want to start my own business one day. And not just any business, but a paperie business. I want to make invitations, prints, stationary--anything that has to do with paper. I know you might be thinking, paper is just paper, but it's totally not to me. I love finding the right combination of scripty handwritten font to go with a clean line san serif. I love gold foil techniques and beautiful textured paper. I'm obsessed with letterpress, calligraphy and clean lines. I love that a wedding invitation/save the date is the first thing your guests will see that will reflect that wedding theme you've worked so hard at creating. I love that invitations mark special points in people's lives--wedding days, baby showers, housewarmings, birthdays, etc. I love getting excited about a print that puts a finishing touch on making a house into a home. 

There it is, friends! I still have lots of fears and it still could totally flop. I have no idea what I'd name it, I need to build out a website, I need to buy a new laptop as well as the fantastically expensive Adobe suite, I need to explore the legality side of starting a business and continue to brush up on the skill side of graphic design. All I've really done so far is start a Pinterest board of inspiration/branding ideas and started an Illustrator class. But the biggest reason for putting it all out there is to start transitioning a dream into a reality. I'm no Emily Ley or Lindsay Letters or Smitten on Paper, but that's okay...you gotta start somewhere and the biggest thing is to just start.

And a little printy print I made :)